Mitch

"Mitch will you intercede here?"
This was Mitch's deepest source of personal pride: For reasons that had never been clearly defined, he was universally viewed as the intellectual authority on who would win an imaginary right between Grendel and Candy. It might have been because Mitch had spent more time thinking about this theoretical conflict then anyone else, or it might have been because he just seemed like the kind of person who would spend an inordinate amount of time thinking about an event that had never happened. But regardless of how this assumption came to be, Mitch loved that it was believed to be true. He loved that this was an issue that everyone had an opinion about, but-somehow- his opinion counted more. Whenever people discussed the Grendel vs. Candy Hypothetical, he never had to interject himself into the conversation; he always knew someone else would eventually ask him what he thought.
"As I have often noted int he past," began Mitch, "context is everything. If you locked Grendel and Candy in a room and said, 'Okay, start fighting,' I'm sure Candy would win. Locking him in a room would be more then enough motivation to make him go wolfshit, because he wants to die. If you locked up Candy in him kitchen and said, 'Okay, start fighting,' he would beat the shit out of the oven. That's just who he is. He's like Gordon Kahl. But we have to assume this fight would be happening for a reason. Something would have to be at stake, and it would have to be something Grendel was extremely emotional about, because he doesn't have the capacity to get pissed off intellectually. SO if this ight did happen, it would have to be because Grendel went insane. And if Grendel was insane, I don't see how anyone could stop him. Candy could hit him with a bottle. Candy could hit him in the chest with a sledgehammer. It wouldn't matter. Grendel would always win."
"I dissagree," said Curtis-Fritz.
"This conversation is over," said Drug Man. "Vanna has spoken."
(Klosterman)

I find this passage funny, mainly because the feeling that his friends are giving him is just random satifaction. He, along with his friends, don't really know why Mitch has been bubbed the most intellectual but they just know he is. Mitch is the kind of guy that doesn't really get much recognition for a lot of what he does, and when his friends just assume that he is more intellectual. Sometimes my friends think I'm just good at something and even if I'm not it just feels good to now that they think I am. I play soccer and my friends always ask me if I'm good at it,and the way they say it you can tell they assume that I am (and I'm really not). But its just satifying to know that they think I am. And I feel that Mitch has that same feeling in this passage. His friends just know that he would be best to really anylize who would win the fight, and Mitch (being the person he is) uses big words and miticulous descriptions on his opinion. Because he doesn't want his friends to realise that maybe he really isn't the most intellectual, because theres not really much else that he could excel at. Leaving him with the sense of satifation. Simple, random, satifaction.
I guess my only question would really be to ask what would happen if his friends realised that he wasn't intellectual. And how Mitch would then feel.